New beginnings and new endings

Yes, I know that it has been a while. Let's just say that I have been busy.
It would appear that I have something called Adenomyosis. Basically it is a mass inside my uterine wall. I have to admit that it has been a very difficult, and painful process to find out. both physically and emotionally. I've had to fight just to be seen by doctors, gone for tests at the wee hours of the morning, and I am still waiting for more.
Not been a fun place for me the last 2 months.
Saying that, I have been gifted a new found strength. I am not letting it affect me in the same way that I would have in the past. Imagine, a life without depressive feelings. The one thing I realized recently, is that I am no longer depressed. What a feeling. It is so amazing, so wonderful, and if I am lucky, permanent too.
I don't hold to that though. I'm not sure when the dark will return, but today, I am free.
I do have so much to be grateful for. Yes, only a few more weeks until I become a GRANDMA. My daughter is patiently waiting too. My Son will be 16 really soon. When did he grow up?
So much life going on, so many new beginnings.
Hysterectomy, well at this point, I would welcome it with open arms. I'm ready, at 39, to watch my grown children take on their lives. I am blessed, because I am still so young, that I can do everything, and yet old enough to be able to enjoy every accomplishment that my kids experience. I love watching them. They teach me so much.
My time to have children is over. I've known that for a very long time. I am ready to be Grandma, I am ready to be the youngest grandma that some of you know. I am also ready to be the coolest grandma out there!
Adenomyosis, it is painful. VERY painful. It is stopping me from living life to the fullest right now. the cure, is right in front of me. Now it is simply a matter of convincing the Hospitals to do surgery. With my family doctor's help ( and yes, he is a very good doctor ), I'll get there soon enough.
Until then, I think I'll just try and remember how blessed I am.