The fun, Perky, yummy Chantal

Good Morning World!

It's 8:51 am, and I am sitting here planning my day. So far, I have one concrete thing to do. My goal, what I want to achieve, more than anything else, is to remain positive. If I can do that, then I am going to have a wonderful day.

Some of you know that I have not been 100% well for several weeks now. Yes, there is more testing to come, and questions still need to be answered. Fair enough, this stuff takes time.
The difficult thing is, while all of this is occurring, I am still left with the pain to deal with, the lack of energy, and the inability to do things in the same capacity as I used to. It can be so bloody frustrating.

The very worst part, the thing that gets me the most, is the fact that I feel like I am constantly whining about it. It is such a focus of my attention. More often than not, I want to avoid people, simply because I know that right now I am not able to do certain things. I hate the idea that people will adapt their behaviors to accommodate me.

Sometimes, I feel that Chantal was lost. The Fun, Perky, freaky, yummy Chantal, is somewhere inside, dying to get out. She is facing a wall of crap, trying to climb it, but there are obstacles as she does. From a positive perspective, I can feel her wanting to come out again. Like a veil being lifted, she is there in the horizon, walking towards me. For those of you who remember that Chantal, Well, look out, she is close!!!!!!!!
Be afraid, be very afraid! lol!

As I get closer to finding out the solution to my physical issues, I need to be grateful, because throughout this last experience, I am realizing more and more, that I am feeling better emotionally. I am getting stronger with my thoughts, and attitudes. I can re-direct, re-evaluate, and I am even learning to let things go. ( Yeah I know, I've cried like a baby this week, but I am still better than I was - lol)

Perhaps the physical issues are occurring to show me that I still have so much to be thankful for.
All I know, is that throughout all of this crap, I'm still happier than I have been in a long time.